My head is still spinning from last night’s “Pearl Jam 20”, the new Cameron Crowe-directed documentary.  All day yesterday I was antsy, mostly because I realized that it was the 19 year anniversary of the Drop in the Park show at Magnuson Park.  In my head all day, and later to my friends:  “Nineteen?  Really?  NINEteen?  NineTEEN!”

I am overly-nostalgic and live in my head a lot anyway, so the intersection of this anniversary with the release of the movie was almost too much.  I loved every minute of the movie, and I’ve got to get these thoughts down, brain-drain style:

• It is hilarious, yet somehow fitting, that I could smell weed while in line for the movie.  Obviously to some, the event wasn’t too different from a concert.
• I love that I went to the movie with five people who I have known for the entire 20-year run of Pearl Jam and have gone to shows with [including Life Altering Concert #1 (“Drop the Gyro and Run”), and, of course, the Magnuson Park show].
• All of the old footage was priceless.  Long hair!  Headbanging! Stage Diving!  Eddie climbing everything like a damn monkey.
• Best nugget from the movie:  Jeff Ament describing how he’s always been stoked to play every show; that they’ve never phoned it in.  This was my “hell yes” moment – it is EXACTLY what I’ve always said to people when defending my concert habit — I’ve never seen a bad show from Pearl Jam – always new/different, and they always look like they are having fun. That’s what keeps me coming back.
• Eddie described how, on stage, there’s not much difference between the band and the fans.  I can’t remember the words he used, but the idea was that it’s a give and take, drawing off the energy of each other.  I’ve always felt that way about concerts, and wondered if the band can feel the energy change on different songs.  I love that they understand what the fans’ experience is like, and that they would be out in the pit, too, if they weren’t on stage.

My main take-away:  go ahead and mock me for my PJ fandom (and I know you do).  I’m not ashamed of it.  But it’s not, and never has been, an “ooh, Eddie’s so dreamy” kind of thing.  As much as I may worship at the Altar of Vedder, I’ve always said that I would love to just hang out with the band and have a beer.  The movie just confirmed what we, as fans, already knew.  A bunch of great guys, now 20 years older just like the rest of us, who happen to play in an epic band.

And go ahead and mock me for my concert habit, and the fact that I’m traveling to Vancouver BC this weekend to see, who else…Pearl Jam.  If you don’t love live music – have never lost yourself in a show – you will never get it.  And that’s OK.  But for me, and thousands of fans like me, live music is money well spent.  It is timeless, and you are never too old (or too young) for it.  How lucky are we, that there are bands who love it as much as we do, and are happy to oblige.

Finally last night, nostalgia gave way to thankfulness, and I left feeling lucky to have grown up with this band for the past twenty years.  I happily hopped in the booster seat-filled minivan that the 21-year-old me swore she would never drive, blared “Evenflow”, and rocked home to relieve the babysitter.    Bring on PJ30 and PJ40….and count me in.